Syracuse-Penn State Live Blog

12:00- It's gametime. The optimism I felt an hour ago has completely evaporated with the sight of Penn State. Oh, we're playing these guys? We're fucked.

12:05- Penn State converts a third and long. I'd forgotten how awful Syracuse's secondary is. The only question is "which starting corner with the last name of Scott is worse?" I'm going with Kevyn, simply because he spells his name like that. And I like the name "Nico"

12:08- Well that didn't take long. Touchdown Penn State, on one of the worst defensive plays I've ever seen. That's not being hyperbolic at all; they blitzed 6, got nowhere near the QB, hit Royster on an innocent little slant, and he ran through the defense untouched for a 49 yard TD. Just to reiterate what I said three minutes ago-- Syracuse's secondary is really bad.

12:12- And it's Greg Paulus time. Tell you the truth Syracuse's skill players aren't bad; Delone Carter is a good RB and Mike Williams is an absolute freak. How Robinson recruited those two remains a mystery.

12:14- First look at Cuse's version of the "wildcat," which they call the "stallion." Antwon Bailey runs up the middle for 4 yards on it. Tip to all opponents-- every time they do that Bailey doesn't hand it off and runs right up the middle.

12:15- Time for a look at Syracuse's best player, punter Rob Long! Paulus got sacked on 3rd down. Remember what I said about Cuse having good skill players? Problem is, their O-line blows. Stunningly, Long pins Penn State at their own 4. I'm really going to miss him when he's gone.

12:18- On commercial, I flip over to Pitt-Buffalo to check on my bet. It's already 14-0 Pitt. I may start drinking shortly.

12:20- Penn State has a wideout named Graham Zug Jr. I have nothing to add to that.

12:21- Zug with a 20 yard reception, and there wasn't a Cuse defender within 10 yards of him. One more time, say it with me: Syracuse's secondary is awful.

12:24- You know, Mike Holmes would be a really good defender if he could tackle. Unfortunately, that's kind of an important skill for a defender.

12:28- First and goal Penn State. This has been quite the effortless 96 yard drive.

12:31- First quarter ends, and it's going to be 4th and goal from the 1; looks like Penn State's going to go for it. This has been an impressive goal line stand so far for Cuse, which I'm sure they'll negate here by giving up an easy TD.

12:34- Clark fumbles the snap on 4th and goal!!! That was something Syracuse would do. Cuse's defensive line was really impressive on that stand. Now my money's on a sack for a safety.

12:37- Apparently, Marrone was afraid of the safety/sack too. Syracuse just ran the ball directly up the middle 3 times, getting nothing on every run. George DeLeone would be proud of that playcalling. Number of people reading this that got that reference? 1.

12:42- Wow, something has clicked for Syracuse's defense. They just held Penn State to a three and out, and they didn't get a single yard. The bad news? Syracuse will be starting from their own 2 again. Let's get a little more creative with the playcalling this time boys.

12:45- Playfake on first down, which everyone in the stadium saw coming. However, I still like the call, and Paulus scrambled for 5.

12:47- Fresno is up 14-0 on Wisconsin, and they were getting 9. I have no idea why I didn't bet them.

12:48- Three and out. Paulus looks more jittery in the pocket than a crackhead who just pounded 5 red bulls. To top it off, Our Best Player Rob Long (that's officially his name) just shanked one out of bounds and Penn State is going to start somewhere near Syracuse's 40 yard line. At some point, our offense is going to have to do something here.

12:54- Hot Big Ten Network sideline reporter informs us that there "isn't a lot of emotion on the Penn State sideline." That's because they're playing Syracuse dear. Right on cue, Evan Royster waltzes 15 yards, completely untouched, into the end zone. I can't really get mad at the defense for that; they've been on the field all half and Penn State's been getting great field position. Get a few fucking first downs here Cuse.

1:01- Syracuse gets a first down or two, then in a completely gutless move, they punt on 4th and 3 from the Penn State 35. My mother is now watching the game with me, placing me further on tilt.

1:05- I think Syracuse blitzes on every single defensive play. All out blitzes, zone blitzes, delayed blitzes. It's unreal; our secondary is pathetic enough as it is, stop leaving them in single coverage.

1:07- Wow, Kevyn Scott makes a ridiculous interception. He just ripped it out of the guys hands.; that was awesome. I will now cease making fun of Syracuse's secondary for the next 30 minutes.

1:12- Cuse is moving a bit at the Penn State 40, but there's only 53 seconds in the half and we just burned our last timeout. Apparently, Doug Marrone and Greg Paulus went to the Andy Reid school of clock management.

1:19- I cannot even describe what is happening right now. All you need to know is that it's 4th and 2 from the Penn State 34 and Cuse is going to try a long field goal. And surely miss.

1:20- Someone named Jake Smith, who is apparently our long field goal kicker, kicks the ball somewhere towards Florida. "Duck hook" does not even begin to describe how far left that went. 14-0 Penn State at half. That was an ugly display of football.

1:25- Rough day in Upstate NY; Syracuse is losing, Buffalo is getting creamed, and I'm in Albany losing money. I'm going to make some lunch, and perhaps washing it down with a glass of ice cold gasoline.

1:35- Your announcers for today's UConn-UNC game? Clay Matvick and David Diaz-Infante. I guarantee you one of those names is made up. Oh, and UNC is losing too. I may look into selling body parts soon.

1:42- Second half has started, Cuse starts from their own 24. Let's take a shot or two deep to Williams here.

1:45- Syracuse does precisely nothing and will punt. They threw two passes, each were caught behind the line of scrimmage. Can we please attempt to throw a pass longer than 2 yards?

1:47- New goal for the second half-- I'm going to chart the number of defensive plays where we don't blitz. So far it's 0 for 1.

1:48- 0 for 3. In a related story, Penn State has gotten 2 first downs on those 3 plays.

1:49- 0 for 4, as Clark throws a Chad Pennington-esque floater to a wide open Zug. Stop. Fucking. Blitzing.

1:51- Well, we've stopped blitzing, but Penn State hasn't stopped completing passes to wide open receivers. I'm realizing that perhaps the problem lies in a lack of talent in the secondary. (It's been a half hour since the Scott INT, so I can freely go back to openly mocking them.)

1:52- TD, Clark to Zug. And oh by the way, he was wide open. Our secondary is making Clark to Zug look like Brady to Moss. 21-0 Penn State.

1:55- Nice kick return by Mike Jones (not the rapper, I think), followed by a nice 15 yard Paulus to Williams pass. Apparently we do have a pass play in the playbook that goes more than 1 yard downfield.

2:00- Whoa, a shovel pass! And it kinda worked! We're really opening up the playbook now. Let's go with that stallion look again.

2:01- We call another pass play 10 yards down the field, Paulus puts it right in Alec Lemon's gut, and he drops it. Fuck you Lemon.

2:04- Cuse is moving; first and goal at the 5. This has been a really nice drive actually, mainly because they've been throwing to Williams.

2:07- I'm squarely on tilt. On first down, Cuse runs that dumb dive play that hasn't worked once all game. On second down, they inexplicably run a bubble screen to the utterly useless Alec Lemon. On third down, Paulus scrambles around like a chicken with his head cut off, has a wide open alley to walk into the end zone, and instead dances around like a pussy and gets tackled after running for one yard. Then on 4th down, they finally go back to my boy Mike Williams-- you know, the guy responsible for every positive offensive play of this game-- on a quick slant, and Williams promptly drops the ball in the end zone. That sequence is what I like to call "the past 4 years of Syracuse football in a nutshell."

2:11- Quick three and out for Penn State, as Doug Hogue makes a great play blitzing Clark. Hogue was a RB who was ridiculously underutilized last year, and Marrone switched him to LB because their linebackers sucked. If only Williams had caught that fucking pass. First and ten Cuse on the PSU 45.

2:13- The return of the stallion! Like I said earlier, Bailey fakes handing it off and runs up the middle for 4 yards. They do the same thing every time out of that formation, but for some reason they seem to get positive yards out of it each time. I think they ran that play 15 times against Notre Dame last year and they had no idea how to stop it. End of the third quarter, 21-0 PSU. Should be 21-7. Goddamnit.

2:17- Stop me if this sounds familiar-- Stallion look, Bailey at QB, he fakes the handoff and runs up the middle for 8 yards. It's unreal how effective that play is.

2:21- Paulus looks pretty good throwing the ball, but when shit breaks down he keeps going into "crackhead on red bull" mode. Don't be so afraid of getting hit for christ's sake. On comes Long to punt it away on 4th and 22 from the PSU 35, and Long promptly boots it into the end zone. I remember Long being much better than this last year.

2:24- Hogue nearly picks a pass off. I like the way he's played today. It's good to see my mancrush on him has carried over from offense to defense. Hogue is also responsible for one of my favorite moments of the Greg Robinson era-- last year against Rutgers, he rushed for an 82 yard TD in the first quarter. And never touched the ball again. Greg Robinson everybody!

2:27- Another nice defensive series for Cuse, as Penn State gets 15 yards and then nothing else. Cuse will start from their own 15. This may sound odd considering we're down 21-0 and all, but I've seen some nice things today; the defensive line and linebackers have played really well, and when we've opened it up and let Paulus let it rip downfield, some good things have happened. Definitely some positive signs here.

2:28-Realizing how depressing it is that I feel enthused in a game where we trail 21-0 in the 4th. Syracuse football everybody!

2:29- Paulus promptly throws a pick and Penn State will start at the Cuse 2. I recant every positive thing I just said.

2:33- TD Penn State on 3rd and goal from the 1. Again, this will sound weird considering we're getting killed and all, but I like what I saw there. Cuse stuffed em on two straight runs, they were flying all over the field, pounding their chests, and playing confidently. That is something that just wasn't there under Greg Robinson. Last year after that pick the other team would've scored so easily on the first play. At least there is some effort and confidence this year.

2:37- Stallion look, Bailey at QB, fake handoff, run up the middle for 3 yards. The terrible announcers have just picked up on the fact that they do the same thing every time out of the "wildcat." IT'S THE STALLION ASSHOLES.

2:39- The bubble screen might be my least favorite play ever created. Have you ever seen it gain more than 2 yards?

2:40- Another INT as the ball bounces off Mike Owen's chest, goes straight in the air, and into a LB's arms. I'm done with this game.

Syracuse Football

"We need to make this place the hardest place to play in the country. We need you, we need everyone. This is our state, our town, our team, and we gotta win. Now. G'Orange."

If that video doesn't get you pumped up, you don't have a pulse. Or don't like Syracuse, which basically means you're dead to me anyway. Cuse-Penn State kicks off in an hour, and for those of you who don't know, this used to be a huge rivalry. The rivalry basically died when Cuse joined the Big East and they stopped playing every year, but when I was little and first started following sports this was the rivalry for Syracuse, and I can't even begin to discuss how much I used to hate Penn State. Now they're trying to bring the rivalry back a bit (although it's uncertain whether they'll stil play after this seas0n), and now, we're kind of a joke, and Penn State's kind of good. I don't care; I ordered the Big Ten Network just to watch this game, and I'm all fired up and delusional because I've talked myself into thinking Syracuse has a chance to keep this close. G'Orange.

I'll put my random/suicidal thoughts in a post here during the game in what the kids like to call a "live blog." Be prepared for obscenity-laced tirades.

Lock it up: Weekend Picks

Before we get to this weekend's picks, I would just like to point out that I am in no rational position to discuss the events of last night. I basically hit the nail on the head of what was going to happen in the Pitt-Ten game but was too much of a pussy to bet it, and the team I actually did bet on (Georgia Tech) somehow blew a 24-0 lead and won without covering. Fuck me.

College Picks:

UNC -4 at UConn- This is a good litmus test for UNC; they have a lot of talent-- most likely a good amount more than UConn-- but they are still going on the road to play against a decent BCS conference team. UConn struggled to get past Ohio last week, while UNC has ACC title aspirations this season, especially considering how dreadful the ACC performed last weekend. UConn lost a lot of talent from last year's team (notably, Donald Brown), and I think UNC rolls here.

UNC 34, UConn 20

West Virginia -6.5 vs. East Carolina- I very nearly bet on West Virginia to win the BCS title this year as a longshot bet at 50-1; they still have a good amount of talent from Rodriguez's days, including top notch RB Noel Devine. There's also a revenge factor at play here this week as West Virginia looks to avenge last year's embarassing loss at ECU. ECU is a pretty decent team themselves, but this is really more a pro West Virginia pick than anything anti-ECU. The only thing that really has me scared about this pick is the coaching matchup-- Skip Holtz can coach circles around Bill Stewart. Need proof? See the following from Bill Stewart's twitter page:

West Virginia 27, East Carolina 17


Mississippi State +14 at Auburn- I actually think Auburn's going to be decent this year, but I just can't shake the visual image of what happened the last time these two squared off:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kL-mNqDeJpM

Auburn 3, Mississippi State 2

South Carolina/Georgia under 38- covered in yesterday's links post. Basically, these two teams never score a lot against each other, and judging by how anemic their offenses looked last week, this year will be no different. Hell, Georgia only managed 14 points against South Carolina last year with Stafford, Moreno, and Massoquoi all on board; I shudder to think what will happen this year. My only fear with this under is Stephen Garcia's involvement; he could have one of his craptastic 5 turnover, 2 of which go back for TDs games. I don't see that happening though; I also like South Carolina with the 7 points here, although I probably won't touch it.
Georgia 16, South Carolina 13

Houston +15 at Oklahoma State
I love Oklahoma State. I love Mike Gundy, Zac Robinson, Kendall Hunter, and Dez Bryant. However, this has letdown game written all over it. Plus, Houston's got a pretty prolific offense, and I think holding Georgia to 10 points last week was more about Georgia's offense being really, really bad than anything positive Oklahoma State's defense did. Houston's a pretty good football team, and if Oklahoma State isn't careful they could lose this game. I don't think they will, but I also don't think Oklahoma State's D will stop Houston enough to cover.
Oklahoma State 45, Houston 35

Buffalo +10.5 vs. Pittsburgh- This line seems wayyyyyyyyy too high, and I think Buffalo could win this outright. They will quite possibly have the best player on the field this game-- WR Naaman Roosevelt-- and people are far too high on Pittsburgh, especially considering Dave Wannstedt is still their coach. It's also interesting to note that Buffalo was getting 8.5 at freaking UTEP last week and they went into El Paso and won outright, so it's quite possible that Vegas just does not have a good read on this team. Finally, I'll take Turner Gill as my coach (especially at home) over freaking Wannstedt any day of the week.
Buffalo 34, Pittsburgh 31

TCU -11 at Virginia- Yup, I'm taking a Mountain West team, laying double digit points, on the road, at an ACC team. Why you ask? Virginia lost at home to freaking William and Mary last week. Al Groh-- Dead Man Walking.
TCU 41, Virgina 17

Ohio State +7 vs. USC- Hear me out first before you mock me. I know that Ohio State has been spectacularly bad in most of their big out of conference games lately and that they nearly lost to Navy at home last week. However, they gave Texas a hell of a game in the Fiesta Bowl last year-- a game where no one, myself included, thought they had a chance. Also, he is far from perfect, but Jim Tressel is still a very good coach, and I think he's going to make this a grind it out affair. USC is starting a true freshman quarterback on the road, and I highly doubt they are going to open up the playbook and take the training wheels off Barkley. I think USC wants to make sure Barkley doesn't kill them with any big mistakes, make a few decent throws to keep the defense honest, and then just let Joe McKnight go to work. I see this being a relatively low scoring game where every yard and every point is fought for, and that fits right up Jim Tressel's alley. I see this being a field goal game either way. So, at gunpoint, the pick to win is...
USC 20, Ohio State 17.

NFL PICKS:
Only a few here...

Carolina +2.5 vs. Philly- I like the Eagles a lot this year and I love McNabb, but is it just me or do they always seem to start slowly? Carolina's got a tremendous offensive line, and I think they will make this a physical game and pound the ball on them. Look for a big game from DeAngelo Williams.
Carolina 27, Philly 24

Houston -4.5 vs. Jets- I think the Jets are going to stink this year. It's really as simple as that. Oh, and Mark Sanchez? Meet Mario Williams. You're about to find out life as a QB isn't so easy when you're not at USC getting 6 seconds in the pocket every down to find your wide open receivers down the field.
Houston 28, Jets 10

Jacksonville +7 at Indianapolis- These teams always seem to play close games, and I don't think Indianapolis is going to be all that good this year.
Indianapolis 23, Jacksonville 21

Green Bay -3.5 vs. Chicago- I love Green Bay this year; even have a bet on them at 25-1 to win the Super Bowl. Although I felt a lot better about that bet before Bill Simmons picked them to win the Super Bowl.
Green Bay 30, Chicago 24

The Problem with the Hornets

I can't believe how bad your teammates are either, Chris.

This is something that's been knawing at me for a while, and the link I gave to Sham earlier today had a quote that really underscored what I've felt about the Hornets for a while:

"Peja is still going, although he's not far away from being Postdrag. He owes it all to the pretty tremendous contract that Jeff Bower gave him, one which calls for two more years and $27.6 million for a player with a PER of 12.5 last year. Nice. Their other shocking contract of that offseason - Bobby Jackson - has finally expired, but not before the Hornets traded it for a longer one (Mike James, later Antonio Daniels) just to get a two month Bonzi Wells cameo. They made a "go for it" trade, missed by miles, and are still suffering from the repercussions, having to dump players to avoid the tax. Nasty. It often escapes mention quite how bad Jeff Bower has been in New Orleans. He wasn't even the one who drafted Chris Paul."

When New Orleans got Chris Paul and realized how good he was, they went with what I call the "casual fan" team building model. What is that you ask? It's buying into stupid beliefs that casual fans spout off like "great point guards make everyone around them better," and trying to build their team by just filling in with complementary pieces. I say that is a stupid belief because great PG's don't make everyone around them better; go to basketball-reference or 82games.com and look at the stats for players before they play with a great PG, when they play with one, and after they play with one. Chris Paul has not made James Posey or Mo Pete or Peja or Rasual Butler any better playing with him. Steve Nash did not magically morph Quentin Richardson or Raja Bell or Eddie House or James Jones into better players. People always trot out Marion playing with Nash as the poster child for this theory, but you could even argue that Nash did not make him better considering Marion was pretty damn good before Nash ever got to Phoenix. Sure, I understand that complementary players are needed in team building, but teams like Phoenix and New Orleans thought they could get by without any other playmakers on the perimeter because they had such great PG's, and it hasn't worked (although it almost did for Phoenix, but it also helps when you have Amare and Marion in their primes in the frontcourt, along with one of the best coaches in the league).

This is what New Orleans did; they dumped huge money on an aging and decomposing Peja. The supposed reasoning? "Well, all he'll have to do is stand there and wet open threes on Paul's drive and kicks." They threw the MLE at Mo Pete under the similar thinking of "well, with Chris Paul on board, we don't need a 2 guard who can create, but just one who can stay out of the way, play defense, and hit open jumpers." That same line of reasoning led them to later dump the MLE on an aging James Posey. Unless you have two great players in the front court (like Phoenix when they had Marion and Amare to go with Nash) who can score, you need wing players around your stud PG that can do more than just hit stand still jumpers and play defense.

This even applies to stars that aren't PG's; look at the Cavs and LeBron. For years their team building strategy was to just surround him with guys who can bang open jumpers and do nothing else; guys like Damon Jones, Daniel Gibson, and Donyell Marshall. They were always good (because LeBron was so incredible, and they played really good D), but they were always dreadful on offense and a step short of being a true contender. What happens last year? They go out and get two guards (Mo Williams and Delonte West) that can not only hit that open jumper, but they can also create a little bit of offense for themselves and others. All of a sudden, their offense is great, they win 66 games, and they lose in the conference finals to a Magic team that Cleveland didn't match up well with and because Orlando played out of their minds. Even LeBron needs someone else who can create.

Why has this struck such a nerve with me? Well for starters, I hate to see one of the best PG's of all time in a bad situation. Chris Paul has had two of the best statistical seasons ever for a PG in the past two years, and sadly it looks like New Orleans isn't going anywhere fast because of the black holes they have at the 2 and 3. And secondly, as a Bulls fan, this is very similar to the defense the Bulls and many of their fans have made for letting Ben Gordon go; "well, he was expendable because we have Rose, and he's our creator." Where is it written in stone that you can only have one creator on the perimeter? I understand the need for team balance, but why do all of a sudden people think players like Nash and Deron Williams and Rose and Paul can just do it all on their own on the perimeter? Why have more teams not modeled themselves after the Spurs? Sure, they have one of the greatest PF's of all time, but they also have two damned good guards who can both create for themselves, create for others, and hit jumpshots. When Ginobili was out last year, no one seemed to think that some complementary player could fill in his role because they had Parker and he was their creator and they had Duncan and he was their big. Yet, for Paul, Nash, Kidd, Rose, etc. it's a different standard.

So hang in there CP3; there are those of us out there who know that you're great, who know that you can't do it all, and who know that your GM sucks. And so help me God, if the Bulls start dumping MLE contracts on average swingmen because "Derrick Rose is our creator"...

Stone Cold Lock of the Night

Georgia Tech -5 vs. Clemson

Maybe with Tommy Bowden gone Clemson won't be such a freaking enigma, but I'm not betting on it. They were 2-7 on Thursday nights under Bowden (random meaningless stat alert!), and they always seemed to have just enough talent to be enticing, but sucked just enough to completely shit the bed whenever they played a really good team. Here, they face a really good team. Georgia Tech runs the crazy Paul Johnson triple option, and they have quite possibly the best running back in the country in Jonathan Dwyer (it's either him or Jahvid Best). I also generally like to bet on the home team on these ESPN Thursday night games-- the crowd is always wild for these games and the players generally always seem pumped up (except for NC State last week, who turned in one of the worst displays of organized football I've ever seen. I blame that on their fans for wearing "Beat Carolina" shirts. You were playing freaking South Carolina. They aren't good.). So, don't fear laying the points here because this spread should be more like 10; I think Clemson has sucked Vegas into thinking they're better than they are once again, and Georgia Tech seems to be underrated since Paul Johnson came to town because people don't trust the triple option in a BCS conference. Their offense is for real, Paul Johnson is for real, Georgia Tech is for real, and Jonathan Dwyer is for real.

Georgia Tech 31, Clemson 13

Also of note... the NFL is back tonight. I'm obviously excited, but I'm not particularly excited to watch two conservative, defensive minded teams battle tonight. At gunpoint, I'd take the Titans with the 6 points just because i think it'll probably be a low scoring, close game, but I'm not touching this game. I don't think the Titans are going to be particularly good this year (I'm thinking 8-8 or 9-7), they are pretty one dimensional offensively, and losing Albert Haynesworth is a huge blow to the defense. So my recommendation for the night is take what you would've put on this game on Georgia Tech, and head to your local watering hole so you can watch both games. And revel in the fact that football is back.

More picks for the weekend to come tomorrow.

Extended Links, 9/10

The Syracuse-Penn State annihilation is on the God-forsaken Big Ten network this weekend, but apparently Time Warner customers can order it Friday and cancel it Sunday for a whopping 14 cents. A query: if Syracuse is down 35-0 at half, can I only pay 7 cents?
Nunes Magician

Why I'll be taking the under in Saturday's Georgia-South Carolina game
Dr. Saturday

Great piece from BDL's Kelly Dwyer on John Stockton... and like me, KD is a Bulls fan. Makes you appreciate just how good Stockton was that he can inspire these feelings from a Bulls fan.
Ball Don't Lie

Omer Asik (rights owned by the Bulls after Paxson traded 3 second rounders for him) ripped up the Polish Hammer Marcin Gortat in Eurobasket yesterday. His contract in Europe is up after this year so maybe/hopefully he'll be in a Bulls uniform come 2010.
BlogaBull

If you have a half hour to kill, sit down and read this ridiculous recap of the 1996 draft that Sham put together
ShamSports

EtG Archives: the Syracuse-Oklahoma Sweet 16 Debacle

(ed. note: The following piece was originally a series of e-mails sent to my friends from college before and after Syracuse played Oklahoma in the NCAA tournament. Knowing my psychotic Syracuse fandom (and baffled by it since we didn't go to Syracuse), they were curious as to my state of mind after they completely and inexplicably shat the bed against Oklahoma. Remember, Syracuse was one of the hottest teams in the country coming in to the tournament, as late in the year they won at Marquette, had that great run in the Big East tournament, and looked like they were on cruise control in the first two rounds of the Big Dance. And then the wheels came flying off...)

E-mail sent before the game:

Gerry McNamara jersey on? check. Syracuse shorts on? check. Labatt blue light in hand? check.

/checks clock... 4:27 pm. Still 3 hours til tipoff. Words cannot describe how amped I am. I'm probably going to have a heart attack at some point today/tonight.

E-mail sent a few minutes later, after my friends wondered who I was drinking with:

Yes I'm drinking a few casuals by myself in my room. I don't know where my roommates are; they were home and have mysteriously left. I know they're going out to dinner tonight at some point though, presumably because I may be home watching the Cuse game and they don't want to be near me when that happens. Although I think I'm going to go watch at my friend's apartment with approximately 10 other cuse fans. Odds of him getting evicted: 3-1.

E-mail sent the following Monday, describing my day/night of watching that trash:

Okay here is a rough summary of my state of mind before, during, and after the cuse game. Let me first prephase this with a few of my comments on the game in general. It was an absolute fluke game. Syracuse lost because Devo and Rautins missed about 6-7 wide open threes in the first half while Tony Crocker- who is a God awful shooter and a pretty bad player in general-- made it rain and poured in 28 freaking points. However, I do have a theory as to why Devo and Rautins missed those shots-- each of the first 3's they took in the game were absolutely horrendous shots. Devo took a 27 footer with about 20 on the shot clock that barely grazed iron in the first 2 minutes of the game, and on Rautins' first possession he inexplicably launched a fade away NBA three with a hand in his face with about 25 on the shot clock. I think these two shots threw them off before they could ever get going. This fluke first half threw everything off; the teams actually played evenly in the second half. Anyway, let's travel back in time to Friday night, a.k.a. one of the worst nights of my life.

Before the game- I'm 6 beers deep before tip off and at a bar at a golf course in my town. Why a bar at a golf course? Because it was basically empty, we got to watch it with sound on, and my friend who wanted us to watch it at his apartment had to work late. We plan on going to his apartment at halftime. I'm excited. I'm amped. I can taste the national title.

During the game- The first few possessions were practically vomit inducing. each team was mauling each other and no fouls were being called. Neither team could hang on to the ball, and the aforementioned Tony "I suck" Crocker (ed. note: when I get bitter I coin incredibly creative nicknames for players who have wronged me) throws in a three. To top it off, Cuse plays great d one possession, and some asshole with a faux hawk (ed. note: for the rest of my life I will refer to Austin Johnson as "Asshole with a faux hawk") banks in a running 18 footer at the shot clock buzzer. Needless to say, I'm getting nervous. The score is 5-0, and my stomach is in knots. Predictably, Syracuse goes away from their offense because they are nervous, getting mauled, and can't hang on to the ball. They go in to what i like to call "hero mode," something that was responsible for about 80% of their losses this year. What is hero mode you ask? When Flynn (him to a lesser extent, cause he actually can take over games), Devo, Rautins, and Harris begin trying to do everything on their own. Whoever has the ball of that group will immediately either barrel into the lane out of control or huck up a three-- usually without anyone else on the floor touching the ball-- and an awful shot or turnover coming with about 25 on the shot clock. Cuse gets down 14-6, and I proclaim to my friends that we're going to lose this game by 20. To Boeheim's credit, he recognizes hero mode quickly, calls timeout, and gets them to run their sets. Stunningly (sarcasm), this results in them getting great looks. Flynn is getting layups and easy mid range J's, AO (Arinze Onuaku) and Ricky (Rick Jackson; as you can see, I have no problem calling Syracuse players by their nicknames) are getting good looks inside, and Devo and Rautins are getting some of the most wide open 3's they've ever seen. Most normal games, they'd explode for about a 15-0 run and take a 5 or 10 point lead. However, Devo and Rautins are inexplicably both way off. They havent shot this badly all year, probably because of a) those awful shots I referenced earlier and b) they haven't had looks this open all season.

For most of the rest of the half, they hang around, and eventually make a move to cut it to 1 with about 4 minutes left. I'm ecstatic; after all, they can't buy a 3 and are within 1. Then, Tony Crocker rips my soul out. The bricks keep piling up for Cuse, while Crocker pulls shot after shot out of his ass. I'm getting angrier and angrier, and drunker and drunker. When crocker hit that 3 at the buzzer to make it 13 at half, I'm as angry as i've ever been. I slap the bar, storm out of the bar, and snarl to my friends "I'll see you at (redacted)'s apartment". I race over to my friends apartment for the second half. Deep down, I know right now the game's over, but I talk myself into believing (hey, if Rautins and Devo can get a couple 3's to drop, theyre right back in this!). I proclaim that if they can get it 7 or 8 by the under 16 timeout, they'll have a good chance. Everyone agrees. Then, Oklahoma starts the 2nd half on a 7-0 run, and hope is gone. I am now somewhere between maniacally angry and morbidly depressed, mostly because I now have to watch this shit for 40 more minutes knowing they're done. We resort to taking potshots at Oklahoma's cheerleaders. For instance, when they show one, my friend shouts "hey porky, why don't you throw on a jersey I'm sure you'll bomb in a 3 out of your ass too." (That quote seemed much funnier at the time. Manical anger takes a toll on your sense of humor.) At about the 12 minute mark, my friend who is as equally insane about Syracuse as I am and lives in Florida texts me requesting which method of suicide I'd reccommend. He's doubly depressed because he's been watching this game with his parents and they are appalled at his behavior. We spend the next 15 minutes texting each other the most gruesome forms of self-inflicted death we can imagine, including my favorite, forced beer bottle sodomy followed by a bullet in the brain. This is surprisingly therapeutic (the texting, not the beer bottle sodomy). (If we're lucky, this friend may grace us with some posts on here from time to time.)

Eventually, I get hammered and pass out on my friend's floor and forget this ever happened. I then wake up and play golf the next morning, beginning drinking at 11 am, and I fire the worst round of golf in my life. This isn't coming from Tiger Woods either; I'm talking a cool 124 (this is the first and last time my golf game will be mentioned on this blog). At the end of last season I was routinely shooting 100 or just over; good to see I was on such tilt to negate any progress I had made. I also lost 5 balls that day. And as a final postscript, just when I thought I was over it, I watch Oklahoma play like absolute trash against UNC sunday, and the esteemed Mr. Tony Crocker goes back to his useless, bricklaying self. This made me angry again. Oh well; the future is bright for Cuse hoops; 3 solid recruits coming in next year, a transfer from Iowa State who sat out this year is now eligible, and if Jonny returns (which he has said he is going to), this is a legit preseason top 10 team.

(Postscript: And as you know, not only did Flynn leave, but so did Devo and Harris. Wonderful; back to mediocrity this season. Although I don't really blame any of the three of them for leaving-- Flynn obviously, but Devo and Harris each have families to support, and since Devo got a redshirt year he actually has already graduated. I'd just like to point out that since winning the title in 2003, Syracuse has won exactly 4 NCAA tournament games. And lost to Vermont. Which may have actually been the worst night of my life. But that's a story for another day...).