Syracuse-Penn State Live Blog

12:00- It's gametime. The optimism I felt an hour ago has completely evaporated with the sight of Penn State. Oh, we're playing these guys? We're fucked.

12:05- Penn State converts a third and long. I'd forgotten how awful Syracuse's secondary is. The only question is "which starting corner with the last name of Scott is worse?" I'm going with Kevyn, simply because he spells his name like that. And I like the name "Nico"

12:08- Well that didn't take long. Touchdown Penn State, on one of the worst defensive plays I've ever seen. That's not being hyperbolic at all; they blitzed 6, got nowhere near the QB, hit Royster on an innocent little slant, and he ran through the defense untouched for a 49 yard TD. Just to reiterate what I said three minutes ago-- Syracuse's secondary is really bad.

12:12- And it's Greg Paulus time. Tell you the truth Syracuse's skill players aren't bad; Delone Carter is a good RB and Mike Williams is an absolute freak. How Robinson recruited those two remains a mystery.

12:14- First look at Cuse's version of the "wildcat," which they call the "stallion." Antwon Bailey runs up the middle for 4 yards on it. Tip to all opponents-- every time they do that Bailey doesn't hand it off and runs right up the middle.

12:15- Time for a look at Syracuse's best player, punter Rob Long! Paulus got sacked on 3rd down. Remember what I said about Cuse having good skill players? Problem is, their O-line blows. Stunningly, Long pins Penn State at their own 4. I'm really going to miss him when he's gone.

12:18- On commercial, I flip over to Pitt-Buffalo to check on my bet. It's already 14-0 Pitt. I may start drinking shortly.

12:20- Penn State has a wideout named Graham Zug Jr. I have nothing to add to that.

12:21- Zug with a 20 yard reception, and there wasn't a Cuse defender within 10 yards of him. One more time, say it with me: Syracuse's secondary is awful.

12:24- You know, Mike Holmes would be a really good defender if he could tackle. Unfortunately, that's kind of an important skill for a defender.

12:28- First and goal Penn State. This has been quite the effortless 96 yard drive.

12:31- First quarter ends, and it's going to be 4th and goal from the 1; looks like Penn State's going to go for it. This has been an impressive goal line stand so far for Cuse, which I'm sure they'll negate here by giving up an easy TD.

12:34- Clark fumbles the snap on 4th and goal!!! That was something Syracuse would do. Cuse's defensive line was really impressive on that stand. Now my money's on a sack for a safety.

12:37- Apparently, Marrone was afraid of the safety/sack too. Syracuse just ran the ball directly up the middle 3 times, getting nothing on every run. George DeLeone would be proud of that playcalling. Number of people reading this that got that reference? 1.

12:42- Wow, something has clicked for Syracuse's defense. They just held Penn State to a three and out, and they didn't get a single yard. The bad news? Syracuse will be starting from their own 2 again. Let's get a little more creative with the playcalling this time boys.

12:45- Playfake on first down, which everyone in the stadium saw coming. However, I still like the call, and Paulus scrambled for 5.

12:47- Fresno is up 14-0 on Wisconsin, and they were getting 9. I have no idea why I didn't bet them.

12:48- Three and out. Paulus looks more jittery in the pocket than a crackhead who just pounded 5 red bulls. To top it off, Our Best Player Rob Long (that's officially his name) just shanked one out of bounds and Penn State is going to start somewhere near Syracuse's 40 yard line. At some point, our offense is going to have to do something here.

12:54- Hot Big Ten Network sideline reporter informs us that there "isn't a lot of emotion on the Penn State sideline." That's because they're playing Syracuse dear. Right on cue, Evan Royster waltzes 15 yards, completely untouched, into the end zone. I can't really get mad at the defense for that; they've been on the field all half and Penn State's been getting great field position. Get a few fucking first downs here Cuse.

1:01- Syracuse gets a first down or two, then in a completely gutless move, they punt on 4th and 3 from the Penn State 35. My mother is now watching the game with me, placing me further on tilt.

1:05- I think Syracuse blitzes on every single defensive play. All out blitzes, zone blitzes, delayed blitzes. It's unreal; our secondary is pathetic enough as it is, stop leaving them in single coverage.

1:07- Wow, Kevyn Scott makes a ridiculous interception. He just ripped it out of the guys hands.; that was awesome. I will now cease making fun of Syracuse's secondary for the next 30 minutes.

1:12- Cuse is moving a bit at the Penn State 40, but there's only 53 seconds in the half and we just burned our last timeout. Apparently, Doug Marrone and Greg Paulus went to the Andy Reid school of clock management.

1:19- I cannot even describe what is happening right now. All you need to know is that it's 4th and 2 from the Penn State 34 and Cuse is going to try a long field goal. And surely miss.

1:20- Someone named Jake Smith, who is apparently our long field goal kicker, kicks the ball somewhere towards Florida. "Duck hook" does not even begin to describe how far left that went. 14-0 Penn State at half. That was an ugly display of football.

1:25- Rough day in Upstate NY; Syracuse is losing, Buffalo is getting creamed, and I'm in Albany losing money. I'm going to make some lunch, and perhaps washing it down with a glass of ice cold gasoline.

1:35- Your announcers for today's UConn-UNC game? Clay Matvick and David Diaz-Infante. I guarantee you one of those names is made up. Oh, and UNC is losing too. I may look into selling body parts soon.

1:42- Second half has started, Cuse starts from their own 24. Let's take a shot or two deep to Williams here.

1:45- Syracuse does precisely nothing and will punt. They threw two passes, each were caught behind the line of scrimmage. Can we please attempt to throw a pass longer than 2 yards?

1:47- New goal for the second half-- I'm going to chart the number of defensive plays where we don't blitz. So far it's 0 for 1.

1:48- 0 for 3. In a related story, Penn State has gotten 2 first downs on those 3 plays.

1:49- 0 for 4, as Clark throws a Chad Pennington-esque floater to a wide open Zug. Stop. Fucking. Blitzing.

1:51- Well, we've stopped blitzing, but Penn State hasn't stopped completing passes to wide open receivers. I'm realizing that perhaps the problem lies in a lack of talent in the secondary. (It's been a half hour since the Scott INT, so I can freely go back to openly mocking them.)

1:52- TD, Clark to Zug. And oh by the way, he was wide open. Our secondary is making Clark to Zug look like Brady to Moss. 21-0 Penn State.

1:55- Nice kick return by Mike Jones (not the rapper, I think), followed by a nice 15 yard Paulus to Williams pass. Apparently we do have a pass play in the playbook that goes more than 1 yard downfield.

2:00- Whoa, a shovel pass! And it kinda worked! We're really opening up the playbook now. Let's go with that stallion look again.

2:01- We call another pass play 10 yards down the field, Paulus puts it right in Alec Lemon's gut, and he drops it. Fuck you Lemon.

2:04- Cuse is moving; first and goal at the 5. This has been a really nice drive actually, mainly because they've been throwing to Williams.

2:07- I'm squarely on tilt. On first down, Cuse runs that dumb dive play that hasn't worked once all game. On second down, they inexplicably run a bubble screen to the utterly useless Alec Lemon. On third down, Paulus scrambles around like a chicken with his head cut off, has a wide open alley to walk into the end zone, and instead dances around like a pussy and gets tackled after running for one yard. Then on 4th down, they finally go back to my boy Mike Williams-- you know, the guy responsible for every positive offensive play of this game-- on a quick slant, and Williams promptly drops the ball in the end zone. That sequence is what I like to call "the past 4 years of Syracuse football in a nutshell."

2:11- Quick three and out for Penn State, as Doug Hogue makes a great play blitzing Clark. Hogue was a RB who was ridiculously underutilized last year, and Marrone switched him to LB because their linebackers sucked. If only Williams had caught that fucking pass. First and ten Cuse on the PSU 45.

2:13- The return of the stallion! Like I said earlier, Bailey fakes handing it off and runs up the middle for 4 yards. They do the same thing every time out of that formation, but for some reason they seem to get positive yards out of it each time. I think they ran that play 15 times against Notre Dame last year and they had no idea how to stop it. End of the third quarter, 21-0 PSU. Should be 21-7. Goddamnit.

2:17- Stop me if this sounds familiar-- Stallion look, Bailey at QB, he fakes the handoff and runs up the middle for 8 yards. It's unreal how effective that play is.

2:21- Paulus looks pretty good throwing the ball, but when shit breaks down he keeps going into "crackhead on red bull" mode. Don't be so afraid of getting hit for christ's sake. On comes Long to punt it away on 4th and 22 from the PSU 35, and Long promptly boots it into the end zone. I remember Long being much better than this last year.

2:24- Hogue nearly picks a pass off. I like the way he's played today. It's good to see my mancrush on him has carried over from offense to defense. Hogue is also responsible for one of my favorite moments of the Greg Robinson era-- last year against Rutgers, he rushed for an 82 yard TD in the first quarter. And never touched the ball again. Greg Robinson everybody!

2:27- Another nice defensive series for Cuse, as Penn State gets 15 yards and then nothing else. Cuse will start from their own 15. This may sound odd considering we're down 21-0 and all, but I've seen some nice things today; the defensive line and linebackers have played really well, and when we've opened it up and let Paulus let it rip downfield, some good things have happened. Definitely some positive signs here.

2:28-Realizing how depressing it is that I feel enthused in a game where we trail 21-0 in the 4th. Syracuse football everybody!

2:29- Paulus promptly throws a pick and Penn State will start at the Cuse 2. I recant every positive thing I just said.

2:33- TD Penn State on 3rd and goal from the 1. Again, this will sound weird considering we're getting killed and all, but I like what I saw there. Cuse stuffed em on two straight runs, they were flying all over the field, pounding their chests, and playing confidently. That is something that just wasn't there under Greg Robinson. Last year after that pick the other team would've scored so easily on the first play. At least there is some effort and confidence this year.

2:37- Stallion look, Bailey at QB, fake handoff, run up the middle for 3 yards. The terrible announcers have just picked up on the fact that they do the same thing every time out of the "wildcat." IT'S THE STALLION ASSHOLES.

2:39- The bubble screen might be my least favorite play ever created. Have you ever seen it gain more than 2 yards?

2:40- Another INT as the ball bounces off Mike Owen's chest, goes straight in the air, and into a LB's arms. I'm done with this game.